Here are some Limericks I wrote...

There was a fish from Berlin,

Great at playing violin,

He played at New York,

He ate some Roast Pork,

Next on the menu...fish fin!

There was a dog from Quebec,

Who went to live in the Czech,

On the boat there,

He wasn't aware,

 

There was a cow from Beijing,

Who could speak, shout, scream and sing.

He toured everywhere

Lost his voice and hair,

Then was served next to a chicken wing! 

Sorry that I haven't been on for ages but I had loads of work. Anyway here's a story that I wrote ages ago (mainly for younger kids)...

Escape From The Giant's Castle

On an ordinary street, named Ordinary Street, there lived a perfectly ordinary family that lived on the perfectly ordinary number of 10. This ordinary family, called the Carls family, lived in an ordinary house. They had a perfectly ordinary amount of ordinary people in there family, there was: John Carl (Dad), Mary Carls (Mum), Julie Carls (Oldest and only daughter) and Sam Carls (Oldest and youngest son). John was 41, Mary was 39, Julie was 13 and Sam was 5.

One day Julie took Sam's dummy saying "Ha ha, you still need a dummy. I never had a dummy!" Sam started crying as loud as a lion "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Mum came and shouted "What on earth is going on here?"
Sam replied "Meanie Julie took my dummy."
"Give him back his dummy! NOW!" Mum screamed,
Julie threw the dummy back at Sam. "Julie don't you have homework to do?" asked Mum,
"Yeah," she replied with her teenage arrogance voice.
"Well then go."
"Sam go to your bed and play with your castle,"
"Yes mummy,"

Sam went to his bedroom and started playing with his little knight action figures.
"Oh no here comes the Giant!" Sam made one of his toys say,
"Rah. I'm the king of the castle now!" Sam made the 'Giant' , who was actually his teddy, say.

All of a sudden Sam began to shrink and get dizzier and dizzier until.................

Sam woke up in a jail. "Where am I?" Sam groaned,
"You're in the castle jail." said someone in the cell next to him.
"Why?" Sam asked the person who he now saw was a boy about seven years old.
"After the Giant took over he threw everyone in jail so that he would have enough room to walk around in."
"What happened to the old king?" asked Sam,
"The Giant ate him." replied the boy.
"Oh. What's your name?" Sam said
"Campermojiaconetialshlamcendcobeliktefklisod," replied the boy,
"Camper what?!" said Sam confused.
"But most people just call me Jack." said Jack
"Well Jack how do we get out of here?" asked Sam
"Only one person's got out, she was called Sasha and even then it was because she was you know, dead"
"But there must be some way out?" replied Sam,
"Nope"
"Not even..."
"No"
"But what if..."
"Eh-Eh"
"How about we"
"Look there's no way out just face it!" shouted Jack.
Sam fell to the ground in annoyance.
"Cough-Cough. Ah there's sand in my eye!" said Sam rubbing his eyes.
"Hang On.......sand?"
"Yeah the floor's made of sand, so what"
"Well we can dig our way out of here!" said Sam gleefully.

And so they did, with their bare hands Sam and Jack dug and dug and dug until...
"Jack look!" Sam said pointing up,
"Is that the sky? It is! We've done it!" shouted Jack
Sam and jack quickly crawled out of the very long tunnel they had dug.
"Smell that clean air it's just beaut..."
THUD,THUD,THUD,THUD
"Oh no!" Jack screamed, "The Giant!"
Sam looked up and saw the meanest, ugliest, spottiest and smelliest thing he had ever seen. It had green warts all over its grey face, it had the pointiest nose and the sharpest claws you will ever see!
"Lookey here!" boomed the Giant,
"Escaped prisoners!" The Giant screamed,
But then the Giant started clapping, "Well Done, bravo"
"Huh?" said Jack,
"I thought it couldn't be done!"
"I don't understand?!" said Sam
"My dear little one just because I look nasty doesn't mean I am nasty. I had put everyone in jail as a game! I wanted to see who could get out first! And now that you have I'm going to release every single person from jail and give you a million pounds!"
"A MILLION POUNDS!" said Sam,
"If you are a kind Giant then why did you eat the king?" asked Jack,
"Well I was very hungry and anyway the king called me ugly!" replied the Giant
"Oh." said Jack.
Then a huge wheelbarrow full of money appeared right in front of Sam. Sam ran towards it and just when he was about to jump...


"SAM, SAM! Wake up" shouted Mum,
"What?" said Sam,
"What happened?"
"You were playing with your toys when the castle fell down on top of you and you fell asleep." replied Mum.
"You mean that was just a dream? D'oh!" said Sam.


                                                                 The End

Here are a list of books that I would recommend to you guys:

• The Harry Potter series (J.K Rowling)
• Skulduggery Pleasant (Derek Landy)
• Eragon (Christopher Paolini)
• Millions (Frank Cotrell-Boyce)
• Holes (Louis Sachar)
• The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)]
• Dr Seusses' books
• George's Marvellous Medicine (Roald Dahl
• Around the world in 80 days (Jules Verne)
• 20,000 leagues under the sea (Jules Verne)
• The boy in the striped pyjamas (John Boyne)

Myth: How zebras got their stripes


One day, before zebras had stripes and was a dull, black colour,  in the sizzling, sunny Savannah Zebra was sitting in his living room-scratching mosquito bites of his skin-watch T.V. Zebra was watching Monkey Jackson singing 'Smooth Animal', when he thought to himself, " Whoa, Monkey Jackson looks great in the white suit." After the song had ended, Zebra turned off the T.V and started to envy Monkey Jackson. So then he decided to go to the tall, tall tailor shop in the sizzling, sunny Savannah.

The tall,tall tailor shop was green, wooden, and [obviously] tall. Zebra opened the green, battered door and as he did so the shiny, golden bell rung.  The shop was filled with different varieties of clothing, each having their own array of colours.  Situated at the counter was a small, brown, furry mouse, who bore a needle and thread. 
"Excuse me Mr.Mouse, but could you make me a suit just like the one Monkey Jackson wears when he sings Smooth Animal?" Zebra asked, but Mouse was to busy looking at the bites on Zebra's smooth, black skin. "EXCUSE ME, BUT I THINK IT'S VERY RUDE FOR THE SHOP OWNER TO IGNORE THEIR CUSTOMER!" bellowed Zebra, suddenly Mouse snapped out of his trance,
"Yes, sorry. Um you wanted a limited edition, 1970's, hand sowed, cotton, white suit with a criss-cross stitching pattern?" asked Mouse,
"If that is the one Monkey Jackson wears when he sings Smooth Animal.....then yes!" replied Zebra. Then like wild fire Mouse started to produce the suit.


Within two minutes a suit was made. Zebra put it on with great difficulty. But, all of a sudden, Zebra felt his ribs collapsing, his windpipe was closing.
"I......I can't neath!" Zebra cried,
"You can't neath?" Mouse said, "Oh, you can't breath,"
"Bes!" replied Zebra. Mouse started scurrying about, looking for a pair of scissors.
"Curry pup" Zebra yelped. Finally, Mouse found the silver scissors and started cutting lines in the suit.
"Aaaaah! That's much better!" remarked Zebra, "But, I can't seem to get this blasted suit off!"

"Oh, well I guess you're going to have to stay like that forever!" Mouse said.


Zebra walked outside, head hung in shame, but who would be beside him other than Monkey Jackson!
"WOW! What are you?" Monkey Jackson shouted,
"I'm Zebra with black AND white stripes,~" Zebra sniffed,
"Hey, that gives me an idea. Yo Doris, note this down, 'make song named Black and White." Doris the Monkey just nodded,
"I never knew Zebras had black and white stripes!" I thought they were just black?" Monkey Jackson continued, " But I think you look better with black and white stripes,"
"Y...you do?" Zebra asked,
"Yes, indeed I do. In fact I now declare that all Zebras shall have black and white stripes!"


And that is how zebras got their stripes.        

Fable: The Lion and the Fox

In the sunny Savannah lived Lion, the most terrifying and feared animal in all the kingdoms. Also, there lived the cunning, sly Fox, who was notorious for his trickery.

One day, Lion was prowling, sneakily, in the brown, dry grass stalking a lone deer. As the deer was nearing Lion, he made a legendary pounce and slit the unlucky deer's neck. When Lion was dragging his kill back to his dwelling, he stop to have a rest on a rock. While he was doing so, he spotting Fox cautiously treading towards him. Fox had the intention to steal Lion's brilliant catch, but now he had realized that Lion had already spotted him he knew that he had lost his main advantage... surprise. Now Fox had to think of another tactic, however, by the time Fox had reached Lion he had thought of secondary way to gain Lion's hunt.

"What do you what Fox?" asked Lion, "Apart from the obvious," he added peering down at the deer-which was now under his foot.
"Oh I was just wondering what a brilliant jump you did, when you caught your deer," replied Fox,
"It was nothing, really!" blushed Lion,
"Perhaps you could show me...your highness," pleaded Fox,
" Well......O.K. First what you got to do is build up some air, you do that by running," and what Lion said, he did. Lion started running at an immense pace. However, Fox was not in the slightest bit interested in Lion's actions, all he wanted was the delectable deer-which was now left unguarded. Fox took his chance and seized the deceased deer.

When Lion returned from his demonstration, he could not find Fox...nor his dinner. Infuriated by his deceitful loss, Lion shamefully plodded to his pride-starving.

Moral: Don't listen to someone who is suddenly flattering you.

Myth: A Creation Myth

In the beginning there was nothing but the Council of Gods, this consisted of five gods, which were: Wodin, God of Water; Rodon, God of Earth; Firel, God of Fire; Sidon, God of Air; Hados, God of Death and Bibdon, God of Creation. The Gods were lonely and bored, so Bibdon and Firel created a colossal ball of fire named Sun. However, Rodon, Wodin and Sidon still felt lonely. Bibdon took pity on them and held a Meeting of the Gods. Eventually, they decided to make planets that surrounded the Sun. Once they had done so, they each took turns to name the planets. When it came to Rodon's turn he called his planet 'Earth' so his power would be able to be remembered. Bibdon quite liked this idea. He decided to put the God's elements [earth, fire, water and air] all on one planet. They took a vote and it turned out that everyone, except from Hados who voted for Firel's planet Mars, voted for Earth. So together Wodin, Rodon, Sidon and Bibdon put the elements on Earth.

But Bibdon still wanted more, thus he put inhabitants on Earth. He took a handful of clay and carved two figures and named them 'Man' and 'Woman' then he breathed immortality into them and placed them upon Earth. Bibdon, however, thought that Man and Woman would need food, so he made fruit and vegetables. Over the years, Man and Woman grew weak for they did not have any meat. Bibdon asked Hados to make animals that could die, and Bidon placed them upon Earth.

That was not the end. You see Hados was jealous that Mars didn't have any inhabitants, so during one night Hados stripped 'Man' and 'Woman' of their immortality and made them mortal. When Bibdon found this out he was furious. In an act of vengeance Bibdon killed Hados- his soul became the moon and his eyes split to form the stars.

And that was how The Universe was created.

Fable: The Elephant and the Mouse

There once lived a colossal, clumsy elephant named Elephant and a miniscule, fluffy, white mouse-who everyone in the animal kingdom thought had the profiency to do nothing- named Mouse.

One radiant day Elephant was aimlessly plodding around a vast meadow of dried grass, when all of a sudden he felt a throbbing burst of pain injected in his foot. "Yeeeeeeeeooooooooooooowwwwwwww!" bellowed Elephant, "What a clumsy elephant I am getting a massive thorn pierced in my foot like so!" complained Elephant, peering down at his right foot. In an attempt to remove the blistering thorn, he swung his trunk around he's foot-only to have flipped on his back.

"E...e...excuse me," said a timid voice, Elephant glanced around him. Then Elephant felt a fluffy, little object scurring up his leg. Suddenly,  Mouse appeared upon Elephant's right foot
" I....I was w...wondering if I c..could pull that nasty th...thorn out of y..y..your f..foot?" queered Mouse,
"You? Not even Lion could pull this cursed thorn out of my foot! I don't see how you could..... fine, but if you don't you need to roll me to the doctor's......2 miles away!" boomed Elephant.
"O.K," said Mouse rather pleased with himself, "And if I win you need to tell all the animals about it." Suprisingly, within a few effortless tugs Mouse had pulled the thorn out of Elephant's foot.
"WOW!!"exclaimed Elephant, steadily getting back to his feet.
"Now, you keep your end of the deal." And sure enough Elephant did. Due to this everytime someone's foot got pierced by a thorn guess who they would call? As well as this, Elephant and Mouse came the best of friends.

Moral: Things are not always what people think they are.