Here are some Limericks I wrote...

There was a fish from Berlin,

Great at playing violin,

He played at New York,

He ate some Roast Pork,

Next on the menu...fish fin!

There was a dog from Quebec,

Who went to live in the Czech,

On the boat there,

He wasn't aware,

 

There was a cow from Beijing,

Who could speak, shout, scream and sing.

He toured everywhere

Lost his voice and hair,

Then was served next to a chicken wing! 

Sorry that I haven't been on for ages but I had loads of work. Anyway here's a story that I wrote ages ago (mainly for younger kids)...

Escape From The Giant's Castle

On an ordinary street, named Ordinary Street, there lived a perfectly ordinary family that lived on the perfectly ordinary number of 10. This ordinary family, called the Carls family, lived in an ordinary house. They had a perfectly ordinary amount of ordinary people in there family, there was: John Carl (Dad), Mary Carls (Mum), Julie Carls (Oldest and only daughter) and Sam Carls (Oldest and youngest son). John was 41, Mary was 39, Julie was 13 and Sam was 5.

One day Julie took Sam's dummy saying "Ha ha, you still need a dummy. I never had a dummy!" Sam started crying as loud as a lion "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Mum came and shouted "What on earth is going on here?"
Sam replied "Meanie Julie took my dummy."
"Give him back his dummy! NOW!" Mum screamed,
Julie threw the dummy back at Sam. "Julie don't you have homework to do?" asked Mum,
"Yeah," she replied with her teenage arrogance voice.
"Well then go."
"Sam go to your bed and play with your castle,"
"Yes mummy,"

Sam went to his bedroom and started playing with his little knight action figures.
"Oh no here comes the Giant!" Sam made one of his toys say,
"Rah. I'm the king of the castle now!" Sam made the 'Giant' , who was actually his teddy, say.

All of a sudden Sam began to shrink and get dizzier and dizzier until.................

Sam woke up in a jail. "Where am I?" Sam groaned,
"You're in the castle jail." said someone in the cell next to him.
"Why?" Sam asked the person who he now saw was a boy about seven years old.
"After the Giant took over he threw everyone in jail so that he would have enough room to walk around in."
"What happened to the old king?" asked Sam,
"The Giant ate him." replied the boy.
"Oh. What's your name?" Sam said
"Campermojiaconetialshlamcendcobeliktefklisod," replied the boy,
"Camper what?!" said Sam confused.
"But most people just call me Jack." said Jack
"Well Jack how do we get out of here?" asked Sam
"Only one person's got out, she was called Sasha and even then it was because she was you know, dead"
"But there must be some way out?" replied Sam,
"Nope"
"Not even..."
"No"
"But what if..."
"Eh-Eh"
"How about we"
"Look there's no way out just face it!" shouted Jack.
Sam fell to the ground in annoyance.
"Cough-Cough. Ah there's sand in my eye!" said Sam rubbing his eyes.
"Hang On.......sand?"
"Yeah the floor's made of sand, so what"
"Well we can dig our way out of here!" said Sam gleefully.

And so they did, with their bare hands Sam and Jack dug and dug and dug until...
"Jack look!" Sam said pointing up,
"Is that the sky? It is! We've done it!" shouted Jack
Sam and jack quickly crawled out of the very long tunnel they had dug.
"Smell that clean air it's just beaut..."
THUD,THUD,THUD,THUD
"Oh no!" Jack screamed, "The Giant!"
Sam looked up and saw the meanest, ugliest, spottiest and smelliest thing he had ever seen. It had green warts all over its grey face, it had the pointiest nose and the sharpest claws you will ever see!
"Lookey here!" boomed the Giant,
"Escaped prisoners!" The Giant screamed,
But then the Giant started clapping, "Well Done, bravo"
"Huh?" said Jack,
"I thought it couldn't be done!"
"I don't understand?!" said Sam
"My dear little one just because I look nasty doesn't mean I am nasty. I had put everyone in jail as a game! I wanted to see who could get out first! And now that you have I'm going to release every single person from jail and give you a million pounds!"
"A MILLION POUNDS!" said Sam,
"If you are a kind Giant then why did you eat the king?" asked Jack,
"Well I was very hungry and anyway the king called me ugly!" replied the Giant
"Oh." said Jack.
Then a huge wheelbarrow full of money appeared right in front of Sam. Sam ran towards it and just when he was about to jump...


"SAM, SAM! Wake up" shouted Mum,
"What?" said Sam,
"What happened?"
"You were playing with your toys when the castle fell down on top of you and you fell asleep." replied Mum.
"You mean that was just a dream? D'oh!" said Sam.


                                                                 The End